I find it difficult to continue with life already...

I'm back to the Xiaowei which even me myself am afraid.

I'm afraid of this me.
I'm afraid I will go berserk any moment.
I'm afraid I will suffer from loads of breakdowns.

I'm just so super stuck with the me.
I'm changing, like how a larvae becoming a butterfly.
But, is that a good sign of everything?

Sometimes, I feel like I'm a burden.
I feel that I'm slowing everyone down because of my wilfulness.
Or maybe I'm just too slow.
There are times that I want to give up, but I knew I can't.
Life still goes on.
Dreams still needs to be realised.
But why?

I've seen loads of friends with many problems.
From relationship to friendship to family matters, all of them seemed strong.
Even if they cannot take it, they will cry it out or share it with us.
But I find it hard to do so.
I found it hard to trust people. Or maybe I'm just too sensitive.

But what has caused me to be like this?
Even me myself don't know the answer to it.
Maybe it's my mentality, maybe it's influence, maybe it's some other things.

I feel that I've been an extra for the whole of my life.
I've been left out in the family at times.
I've been left out by friends.
My social circle is getting narrower, getting smaller.
I struggling to keep myself afloat.

Whatever, I shouldn't be ranting here.
Nobody sees it anyway.

One of the many obstacles to overcome in life is yourself. - Xiaowei.